Riding The Never Ending Wave Of Getting Nowhere…
It’s time to reassess life at Chaos HQ.
12 months ago I thought I knew what I wanted in life, I thought I knew where we were headed.
Then one crazy day last November, my life was turned upside down for both the better and the worse.
One minute I ecstatic, the next I was devastated beyond belief.
There’s no need for me to go into details, other than I spent the best part of a week living in some kind of numb limbo state.
Once the numb wore off, everything seemed different, well to me at least.
Life goes on, like nothing was ever different but one thing definitely changed.
And that was me.
The way I think, about pretty much everything has changed.
The way I see myself and others has changed.
The things I want in life have changed.
Part of me thinks it’s just me ‘ahem’…. getting old.
But most of me knows it’s the constant uncertainty of life that scares me.
The fear of never getting anywhere.
The fear of taking risks.
The fear of all the “What if’s”.
As each day blends into the next with very little sense of achievement, I kick myself for not planning better years ago.
For not planning better last week. For not having a decent plan for the future.
For me, living day by day without a plan is like living paycheck to paycheck, which I have done and will always continue to hate.
I need goals, I need to know what I’m working towards. That’s just me.
I need a sense of certainty and security. I need these things to function without endless mind clutter.
I live with a man that has never forward planned anything in his life and a Squad of Monsters that are always working against me.
Is it any wonder I feel like I am getting no where fast.
So for me it’s time to work out a plan, set up some goals and start enjoying the chaos we’ve created.
It’s time to take the next step in chaos history.
All I need is everyone else to get on board too.