I have been thinking about this a lot lately.
And not because I am thinking of doing a midnight drop off at the local orphanage….
Yes I joke about selling the monsters on eBay.
They’ve even seen me open up a listing and start typing, but even they know I’m joking and could never part with them.
I get the cheeky grins and the “you will not mum, you love us too much”….. Hmmmm
So what would it take for me to actually disown my own child?
I really don’t know that I could.
We all have rough days. Rough weeks, rough months and sometimes there are the phases that you wish never existed at all.
There’s not a part of me that could tell you that I could live without any of them.
Each one of my children make up a piece of my heart and to take one piece away would leave me empty and longing.
So how do some parents decide to shun one child out of the family?
I mean you have parents that give their children up because even they know themselves it’s in the best interests of the kids.
You have parents that have to deal with the fact that their children have committed hideous and unthinkable crimes, leaving them with no other real choice.
There are the children that insist on leaving the family home far too young, leaving the parents feeling lost and like failures.
And then there are the parents that fake a perfect life.
They pretend that everything is hunky dory, when in fact its not the case.
Their child starts to head of the rails a little….. They continue to pretend everything will be fine….
Then the chaos begins.
But instead of pulling their ‘perfect’ family unit together, they throw the child out of the house for fear of embarrassment to the family, for fear of corrupting younger siblings.
This situation I cannot understand.
As a parent of a large family I often wonder what the elder kids will show the younger ones when they reach their teens. There is no doubt in my mind that there will be some nonsense and tomfoolery.
But being a close knit tight family, I cant imagine there would be a moment where I would be totally ashamed of my own offspring in such a way that I would disown them.
Yes, kids go off the rails.
Yes, they can get themselves into awkward and horrible situations.
Yes, they are unpredictable and prone to doing the opposite of what we tell them.
Yes, there are some lessons that life needs to teach them.
But often as I have seen, heard and read about, it is these children that are shunned and forced out of their own homes that go on to commit crimes, involve themselves in a life of drug and alcohol abuse and much worse things.
Not always, but it’s common.
No matter how bad my child had pissed me off, I’m really not sure I could watch them go through all of that just to ‘teach them a lesson’.
Often the child that plays up and gets themselves into a bit of nonsense, is the child that is crying for your attention. That wants to be noticed, that is tired of being left out and ignored.
Nothing grates on me more than the parents that pretend.
So while these parents go about their fake and obviously meaningless lives, their outcast is damaging others.
They don’t mind, it’s not really their problem, because they are PERFECT….
And in their PERFECT world, their child will learn their lesson and come home with their tail between their legs.
Doubtful, very doubtful. The longer they’re left the bigger hole they dig.
This article is solely my opinion. I don’t think I could ever do it.
Every single one of us parents is wired differently though.
I would love to know your thoughts and feelings on situations like this one.
Have you been in this situation?
Could you do it to your own child?