Raising Independent Children- The Pros & Cons At Chaos HQ.
As a parent I have always had it in my mindset that I want to raise independent children.
Inspired by my own brother’s upbringing, I am adamant that no child of mine is going to leave the nest incapable of looking after themselves.
Don’t get me wrong, my brother is more than capable of looking after himself now, but there was a time in his late teens where cooking could’ve become an issue.
We look back and giggle now, but the prize meal this young man would prepare was a microwaved meat pie with some baked beans poured on top….
So we have tried to instill the ‘can do’ attitude from a young age.
Soon as our monsters are capable, we stop dressing them, as they’ve gotten older they’ve been able to get their own clothes out.
They have charts and are able to follow them for morning and evening routines, that include things like:
* Get Dressed
* Eat Breakfast
* Brush Teeth
* Make Bed
* Tidy Room and so on.
Lately they have taken it upon themselves to get the breakfast stuff out and create their own special chaotic mess when preparing it.
They want to do things like
flood the bathroom run their own baths and showers, and pack their own school bags.
They even love to cook
stir and wash up play with water occasionally.
So how can there be a ‘con’ to this situation???
Well while I am very proud of their efforts on the home front, their ‘want’ to do more and more is resulting in a somewhat HALF-ASSED effort at everything else!
* They ‘forget’ to make their beds, so that they can be the first to rummage through the breakfast food.
* They neglect their bedrooms in favour of ‘helping’ make a bigger mess somewhere else.
* They are needing more and more reminders to do the basics in their quest to be more capable.
* If the
bloody school has to call me just one more time about a missing hat, a missing lunch or a missing notice, my head will fly off my shoulders and explode whilst on the phone.
Enough is enough.
I have heard parents say their mornings are problem free….. then go on to explain that they do absolutely everything for the child.
The problem free bit sounds quite tempting, but is it really any good long term for the child?
I also feel like if I had to double check everything that I had asked them to do, I may as well have just done it myself in the first place.
So here’s the deal.
I think I am going to dumb it down a bit for a while.
Back the truck up and set them maybe 5 or 6 basic tasks to complete each day.
When I feel they’re doing these tasks without the issues, I may add one more.
I just don’t want to insult their independence and cause them to feel useless, but the chaos is causing me a bigger headache than the mornings do alone.
We’re not talking one menacing independent toddler here, we’re talking 5 fully fledged monsters that think they ‘can do’ EVERYTHING!!!!
I guess the question is HOW?
How do I strip them of jobs without causing an argument?
What are your thoughts on this situation?