2015 – Onwards and Upwards.
Welcome to 2015, Chaos Style.
For the want of a better word, 2014 was a relatively shit year for us at Chaos HQ.
Sure, there were some awesome things happen but mostly, it just dragged on and on with a few ups and a lot of negativity and downs.
The pressure I put on myself was astronomical and I guess sometimes you have to, but looking back I worry that if I didn’t take myself out of overdrive, what would of, and could of happened would not have be pretty.
Here’s what I noticed happening in 2014….
I caught the fitness bug – which was fantastic and I am proud of my weightloss efforts but… (There’s always a but…) what I noticed was I was spending so much time exercising and focusing on myself that other things started to slip.
Like things at Chaos HQ became extremely disorganised, to the point where important jobs just didn’t get done making the daily functioning of the house a nightmare.
Like being so tired come 3.30pm that I had nothing left in the tank to give to my MonsterSquad, nothing at all but the sounds of me ranting at them to “shut up” or to “go find something to do” (not proud at all).
Like my iron levels hitting rock bottom and my hair falling out in great chunks. I had never felt so depleted in my whole life.
Like the relationship between MonsterSquad Dad and I became strained because for months he was left juggling a heap more than usual while I scooted off with my new found confidence, for a jog, or workout with another man… I assure you it was all innocent, but if the situation was reversed I’d be bloody shitty too.
The opportunity to work with a trainer was too good to pass up, but the sacrifices made were more long term than the fitness sessions. Things I now have to ‘fix’ up.
Perhaps I bit off more than I could chew and taking a slower approach might have been a better option. Who knows, we live and we learn.
Money was tight – As it always is when you’re jugging a big brood but especially tight in 2014.
After nearly 2 years of MonsterSquad Dad being unemployed, he finally landed a full-time job to keep us afloat around his computer repairs business. YEY! Except by this stage we had racked up large debts everywhere due to unemployment and the sheer need to just survive.
When you’re unemployed a lot of places put you into ‘hardship’ and ease your payments, they put you on payment plans and are generally pleasant to communicate with. When you’re suddenly employed, they all want their money NOW and are far less understanding about having minimal money. Cue major anxiety and stress.
It’s fantastic that MonsterSquad Dad has a full time job now, but the truth is, we’re no better off financially than we were before due to the debts we’ve accrued. Frustrating as hell but we’ll get there, one debt at a time!
The pressure I put on myself to secure paid blog posts was extreme, of course because often if I did’t get paid, we didn’t eat, but as I said yes to more advertising I found myself more anxious about meeting deadlines and producing high quality work.
I love the challenge of writing an honest post about a product, but it’s certainly not as easy as just dumping your brain onto the online world as I do in posts like this one.
The Monsters went mad – Yep, out of control little people every single day.
Don’t get me wrong, they can all be 100% delightful when they want to be, but with me taking a few steps back and focusing on myself, the kids have just gone haywire, their attitudes are atrocious and they’re out to get my attention, all 100% of it 24/7.
I guess they weren’t used to not being my top priority all of the time and this is some kind of crazy reaction to the situation. I need to put more time back into my kids to get the time I need for myself… If only it were that easy juggling 6 at once.
2015 is going to be about BALANCE for me.
Balancing the line between getting my health back in check. Getting some respect back from my children. Paying off debts as we can, without sacrificing everything. Getting fit and healthy as a family, not just on my own.
Balancing work, balancing study, balancing the blog and more for a much smoother and less anxious existence.
Sounds good to me!
And while sometimes it feels that my whole surroundings seem to be hell bent on working against me, I am busy making plans for a happy, healthy 2015.
Why? Because the outlook is far better that the negative one it has been for a while now.
I’m a huge believer in positivity attracting positive things.
It’s easy to get lost in all the negativity and I have done frequently in the past but I want to say goodbye to all of that this year.
It’s taken me far too long to realise that life really is what you make it.
2015, I will not let you kick my arse like 2014 did.
We will get along, we will be successful in all that we do and most of all, we’ll have some fun!
If you can dream it, you can do it! – Walt Disney.