So today is the first day back at school for the MonsterSquad in 2014.
After 6 long and trying weeks of relentless nonsense, fighting and arguing, I was pretty sure that I would be the mum dancing out of the school gates, with a skip in my step and a grin from ear to ear…..
It was fantastic to see all five of them settle in to school so quickly. There were no arguments, no tears, and excitement all round.
While I left the school feeling pleased and content with their happiness, I must say I am feeling pretty flat now.
After enjoying a long overdue cuppa with a friend, then a quick PT session followed by lunch with MonsterSquad Grandma, I’m suddenly faced with the reality of what most days will be like from now on.
I won’t lie, it’s bloody daunting.
Yes, I still have the toddler at home with me, but he will do his 2 day’s a week of daycare so that I can run the house and my blog, and that will be great for him too. He still also usually has a couple of hours sleep during the day, which will mean alone time for me then as well.
All of a sudden, in the quiet of this big house I am feeling extremely lonely… Something that I really didn’t expect to be feeling at all.
Little people grow up far too quick.
It’s ok though, I know with each little bit of ‘alone time’, as awkward as it feels today, I will start to find myself again. It’s been a long time coming I guess.
When you continually put everyone else’s needs before your own, it’s so easy to get lost in the chaos. I’ve been a great mum for nearly 10years now, but it’s time to be great for me as well as for everyone else too.
Goals are so important, and today is just the opportunity to set some for 2014. The nest might be almost empty, but there’s always something to do here at Chaos HQ.
* Keep up with my Personal Training and shift this weight I have gained over the last 10years.
* Blog. Blog Everything. Grow this blog, because writing is my outlet and I love it!
* Pick up my guitar and play it again. It’s been nearly 10years……
* Craft, DIY, and do more of the things that relax me.
And after all of that, I might just not be such a tired, worn out, cranky, exhausted Mumma.